In an action billed as a cost saving measure, the United States has annexed Israel. The main points of a White House study justifying the annexation were also released today:
- They control us financially anyway.
- It will stop all this dual loyalty nonsense.
- They are closer to New York than Hawaii.
- They already get more federal aid than a state.
- They have nuclear weapons that we could add to our own.
- They already have lots of representation in Washington.
- We are going to have to bail the country out anyway.
- It wouldn’t cost us a cent.
- If we could stop everyone fighting, we could earn billions from wingnut tourism.
- The politicians would have something else to talk about.
- We could teach them to play football.
- It would distract the public from our own problems.
- It will create jobs adding another star to the flag.
- There would be no import duties on a bottle of Mogan David.
- Disney could work wonders with the Temple Mount.
