California Chardonnay Terroirism

	Matt Mental: We are speaking with Riddell Nuance, our wine correspondent. Tell us Riddell, what is your latest discovery? Riddell Nuance: He was appallingly rough with me, and I didn't like the restraints at all. MM: Your latest WINE discovery... RN: A new California Chardonnay that annihilated my prejudices. MM: How so? RN: My former opinion, that California Chardonnays are rather obese and stupid.... MM: You mean the FUNDAMENTALISTS of wine... RN: Please. So, I tried one from the Pits de Feugh Vineyard. It was a delight of sensual architecture, with a nonlinear sense of balance and a vivacious hint of mischief. MM: It sounds like you have found a new special friend. RN: Indeed. One that utterly worships the idea of terroir. MM: Terroir? RN: A "terroir" is a group of vineyards of similar nature and wine making intent or flair, which contribute to give a unique personality to the wine.  MM: Terroirism then. RN: You're evil. MM: What if some disease or BLIGHT infected the grapes and they went bad? Just the thought of this invokes a visceral experience of a profound, overwhelming NEED to vomit.   RN: Well, I suppose you would get a lower quality vintage. MM: You mean the wine would be BAD?  Even during my struggle with alcohol, bad wine caused me to make many bountiful offerings of my stomach in crazed, monumental, wet, tidal heaves.  RN: Well, not to put too fine a point on it - yes it would be bad. MM: Then what would that be called? RN: Merlot. MM: That would explain a great deal.