Latest Non Farm Payroll Report

	I spoke to the President about the current situation involving the Non Farm Payroll Report. I pointed out that the data were not reflective of the status of the national workforce, and that the politically motivated process of 'grandfathering', induced layers of distortion into the results. I asked him directly what he thought of the present conditions.   He replied with steely confidence, saying "I can count to five!" It was then that I removed the foam mallet from its hidden compartment.
	- Dr. Laslow F. Zetz