The Financial System Is Rotten

The financial system is rife with fraud and embezzlement. How can you have a squeaky clean government under these conditions?

You can't.

Too bad all the investigative journalists have been Raptured.

The Prince And The Hose

HRH Prince Charles is introduced to a hose in Africa. Even though it is only a partial hose, future plans call for royal meetings with full length hoses on a worldwide basis.

Nuclear Aesthetics

A Time Of Sacrifice

	In keeping with the example set by Senator McCain, I have decided to immediately suspend my payment of taxes due to the financial crisis.
	- Thurston H. Drubburd

Always Double Check

Do you have Urinary Dysfunction?

It's an embarrassment for millions. The constant inquisitive trips to the bathroom; the stress of not knowing if you are 'pee free'.

If you want to spend more time at the urinal, then Niagra is for you.
Niagra works by flushing all your body's liquid into your bladder, then Niagra triggers a massive bladder purge using chemical compounds found in your brain. Niagra is a laxative for your urinary system. You go and go and go.


Ask your doctor about Niagra*.

Niagra. Go now.


* If urination persists for longer than four hours, stop using Niagra immediately. Side effects include blurred vision, dehydration, headache, extreme thirst, hallucinations, social isolation, bitter depression, male lactation, and the development of certain phobias.

US Saves UK from Dalek Invasion

Dead Dalek

The US has removed its nuclear weapons from Britain, after over half a century of successful deployment.

Based upon a study by the Federation of American Scientists, the last 110 American nuclear weapons in the UK were removed from RAF Lakenheath in Suffolk on orders given by President George Bush.

According to an acquaintance of former Prime Minister Blair: "We're certain that the presence of the weapons stopped an immanent Dalek invasion. Thanks to that arsenal, Britain is Dalek-free today. I think I speak for all of we British, that, in the end, the neck of the Dalek tyranny, has been broken, as it were, a chicken."

Police Prejudice Against Scientists

	I informed the officer that discharging his taser would, in fact, harm him - as I was wearing an invisible sheath of stealth armor that reflected the taser charge back at the assailant. I further assured him, that my Nobel prize for the discovery would be awarded to me shortly at a special ceremony in Sweden. It was then that I felt the bullet enter my leg.
	- Harv Smythe

Let's all talk about: Change

Changing thinking, changes behavior. To change thinking, one must first experience personal heresy. After that, it is critical not to burn oneself at the stake. 

-- Armaund Cheen