Customer Service

"Waiter, the pâté is not to my satisfaction."

"What is the problem with it sir?"

"It's not smooth enough."

"I'll tend to it immediately sir, but first may I ask you a few questions? State your full name; your personal net worth; corporate board affiliations; political party membership; and whether you are long or short the shares of our parent company."

"What?!"

"I will send this information along to our Managing Director. In the meantime, I'll have Maurice come over and suck your cock. MAURICE! You'll like Maurice sir, he's one of our best cocksuckers."

Various Royal Pointing Gestures By Prince Charles

Prince Charles pointing up.

Prince Charles pointing to his right, perhaps sensing danger.

Prince Charles pointing to his right and slightly down.

Prince Charles pointing up again.

All pointing gestures are done with the right hand. Does this matter? I strongly doubt it.

What Could It Be?

During a riveting discussion with a gardening expert, Prince Charles suddenly senses danger...

Saving Soles

Today the Bush White House unveiled a new rule requiring all staff and visitors to wear soft, fluffy slippers while on the premises.

The slippers are made of rehabilitating lambs wool, used in physiotherapy and natural suede. The wool is soft and cozy. The soles are made of one layer of wool, one thick layer of foam and a layer of natural leather. They are also recommended for people suffering from delusions.

When asked why he had imposed the new regulation, President Bush, speaking from behind a portable Plexiglas shield and wearing a helmet, said "I'm the only one allowed to wear shoes here now 'cause I won't get fooled again."

The Prince And The Hose

HRH Prince Charles is introduced to a hose in Africa. Even though it is only a partial hose, future plans call for royal meetings with full length hoses on a worldwide basis.