Rehab

You...quickly! Is this logically possible or empirically possible?

Accidents Do Happen

	"Jentili, I seem to have accidentally painted a Ukrainian Easter egg pattern on my left sock." "How unpleasant for you Sir." "I'm sorry to draw you in to this Jentili." "Was that a play on words Sir?" "Language is not something I consciously pun-ish Jentili." "Shall I get you a new pair of socks Sir?" "What about this damaged pair Jentili?" "May I suggest that we dispose of them Sir?" "What? And destroy my work?" "You said it was an accident Sir." "So I did. However, if we could duplicate that design on the other sock, they would make a splendid pair." "Sir, you want to repeat an accident?" "Jentili, you know it's not that hard. All you have to do is try to be as careless as possible." "Like the time you accidentally paved me into the driveway Sir?" "Something like that Jentili."
	- excerpt from one of Matt's conversations

New Absentium Clue Found In Space

New observations from the Falwell Astronomical Research Telescope (FART) and Chandra of the cluster known as MACSJ0025.4-1222 indicate that a large accident has separated Absentium from ordinary matter and produced Crapium. This provides independent confirmation of a similar effect detected previously in a target dubbed the Bullet Cluster, showing that the Crapium in the Bullet Cluster is real Crapium.

(FART and Chandra Composite of the Galaxy Cluster MACS J0025.4-1222. (Credit: FART, NASA, ESA, CXC, etc.)

MACSJ0025 formed after an enormous crash between two large clusters. Using images from FART, astronomers were able to take a wild guess about the total mass distribution of Absentium and ordinary matter. FART was used to map the Absentium (colored in blue) using a technique known as Sorcery.

Chandra data enabled the astronomers to accurately map the ordinary matter, mostly in the form of hot gas or anti plasma, which is not ordinary matter at all, but it does glow brightly in X-rays (shown in pink) because hot gas is pretty.

As the two clusters that formed MACSJ0025 (each a zillion times the mass of our Sun) crashed at speeds of jillions of kilometers per hour, anti plasma in the two clusters shattered into small fragments and slowed down, but the Absentium did not slow down because it was not present, therefore allowing it to pass right through the collision. The separation between material shown in pink and blue therefore provides observational evidence for Absentium and supports the view that Absentium particles hardly interact with each other at all, apart from the pull of Nobelprisium.

The international team of astronomers in this study was led by Bistus Brak of the University of Education, Santa Barbara, USA, and Urdak, an alien life form of the Institute of Research, USA. Their results will appear in an upcoming issue of The Absentium Journal.

Religious Argument With Airballs

Do you see this airball in my hand? I'm going to toss it to you, and I want you to catch it.

This is the essense of religious argument.


- Rev. Harold Fowler Tinty

Let's all talk about: Blunt Objects

There is nothing like the inner silence of not knowing when to stop. 

-- August Hayes